Staying On The Funny Side Of The Boogey Man

I never used to get scared when I was young, single, and living in an apartment complex overlooking the projects where even the sound of gunfire didn't keep us from opening a ground floor window to catch a breeze. I felt safe surrounded by my family of strangers who made window art out of beer cans, whose cars vibrated to the beat of their own drum, and who were prone to pack up and move in the middle of the night. I slept soundly to the pulse of the blue light blinking through my bedroom window. But somewhere between marriage, motherhood, and moving into a quiet house in a nothing-out-of-the-ordinary neighborhood, I became a chicken. Suddenly I'm convinced that it has become the American burglar's dream to get his hands on our dusty VCR, hand-me-down televisions, wallet with three dollars and a handful of Chuck-E-Cheese tokens, and a collection of Beanie Babies that I am convinced will get us through retirement - or even worse, to have his way with me, which even I have to admit makes for a pretty desperate burglar.

I considered an alarm system but decided that I would rather be taken by surprise and killed rather than hear an electronic voice whisper from my bedroom wall that an intruder is coming up the stairs. In fact, I would probably take myself out to spare myself the agony of suspense. And with my luck, I would get the electronic alarm voice with the bitter just-left-my-husband attitude. "See, I told you he was breaking in, you fool. Next time maybe you'll listen to me. I'm thinking you asked for that one. You should never have gotten married; this fool here isn't going to protect you. That's a man for you." No, I don't need an alarm system. I married an ex-football playing power lifter who is convinced that he can kill someone with his bare hands - despite the fact that our living room bookshelf collapsed in the middle of the night last week and he didn't even wake up. I've pretty much resigned myself to the fact that if the burglar wants to come in, there's nothing that can stop him. I think the makers of alarm systems need to talk to the makers of toy packaging. If burglars had to work as hard getting into a house as parents have to work to open a new toy - the hard plastic, those twist ties, all those tiny screws - that boogey man will not stay the course. I'm just saying.

It's when hubby goes out of town that I struggle. I'm not scared at the thought of him going, and certainly not scared enough that I can't plan an enjoyable evening of scallion chicken, chocolate, scented candles, Gray's Anatomy, three episodes of Law and Order, and a Lifetime movie about a woman being stalked by her lover's ex-girlfriend's crazy roommate, starring Valerie Bertinelli. For some weird reason I'm not scared earlier that afternoon, or at dinner, or at 9pm, or at 10pm, or even at 11pm. But at 11:01 my eyes start to shift and campy horror music tracks start running through my head. In my mind, that's when the boogey man clocks in and starts creeping slowly down the street in his rusty old Dodge Dart and trunk full of duct tape and hefty bags. I am not scared until I put on my flannel nightgown (just so he won't be tempted), fuzzy socks, and crawl under the covers. That's when I hear the noise. Never fails. Every time. I hear a noise. I do a quick run through of all the explainable noises - ice maker, cat, air conditioner, leaky faucet, sound of the whistle inside my own nose. None of these. I am convinced that this is a noise only the boogey man can make.

I try to be logical - what are the odds that this guy would choose my house - which doesn't make me feel any better because it's the same logic I used when I convinced myself nobody would see me if I ran out to the mailbox in my bathrobe. That story didn't end well. There are still children in therapy over that one. In fact, odds were good that he was going to pick my house because I had just mopped the floors and wouldn't that just be a kicker, to go out after having spent hours cleaning your floors - like washing your car and it rains - those are my kind of odds. Okay, so I didn't actually mop them, I swept them. Okay, okay, so I just used the dust buster in the corners - what are you, the clean police? I considered making the boogey man's job easier by going ahead and putting all my belongings on the front porch so he wouldn't have to come in. But my lazy side convinced my fearful side that was a bad idea. Besides, last time I left piles of stuff on the curb, even the bums rejected it. I considered sleeping in a different room to surprise him but that would mean having to wash the sheets in the guest bedroom.

I imagine the boogey man looking through my car trying to remove the expensive electronic equipment that's not there - it's a ten-year-old Hyundai for gosh sakes - and I can actually hear him swear as his fingers wrap around a petrified french fry and the chewed-up nugget remains that have grown hair in between the seats. I see his lips curl up in disgust as he flips through my CD collection. If he were a smart burglar, he'd go for the bag of diet bars in the back seat that cost more than my car is now worth. Shoot, if he were smart, he'd pick a different house. Take the CD's, by golly, but those diet bars cost me a fortune. Only in America does it cost more money to eat less. Great, now he's mad and he's coming inside. I know this because I can hear him picking the lock downstairs -so what if I can't hear my husband when he gets locked out and bangs for thirty minutes on that downstairs door - now I am sure I can hear that boogey man breathing and breaking into the house in slow motion - because that's what they do you know, move in slow motion while looking both ways like kids about to cross the street. So much for the big dog house that's supposed to scare him away. I'm convinced that he's been casing the house long enough to know that the scary big dog went to the vet and didn't come home whereupon the burglar gossip line went crazy - "Dog gone at the Swanson's, I repeat, dog gone at the Swanson's."

That's when I realize I don't have the phone - dummy - any fool knows that you won't have time to get the phone if it's across the room. But now I'm worried. Do I have time to get to the phone before he reaches the top of the stairs? Should this time be spent finding a hiding place? And would I still fit on the top shelf of my closet like I imagined when I was smaller? Should this time be spent trying to get out of the bathroom window - oops - the same window that won't open anymore because I painted over it by mistake? Great. I can hear my husband now leaning over my dead body saying, "Well, you might have gotten away if you had listened to my advice. That's what you get when you do a rush job." I decided to make a run for the phone. I'm still here, so obviously it was a good call. Excuse the pun. Even when I'm scared, I've still got it.

Then I can hear the sound of his pick ax brushing the wall going up the stairs. It's weird how your heart can be throbbing through your chest, your life can be flashing before your eyes, you can be picking out thirty-seven escape routes and hiding places, and still wonder if this is the night gown you should be caught dead in, picturing your blue-haired relatives leaning over the casket saying, "What a shame. So young. You think she could have picked a better gown. I didn't realize she had put on that much weight."

These are the times when I always wish I had taken a self-defense class. I try to remember everything my husband told me to do when you're getting attacked. Shove him up the nose. No, too gross. Poke him in the eyes. Eeeewwww, even worse. No way. Knee him in the groin - maybe, but last time I tried to hike my knee up in aerobics I fell down. Beat him until he doesn't get up, my husband tells me - over and over. He obviously didn't see me when I cried in kickboxing class because my knuckles got scraped. He obviously hasn't seen my bruises from trying to get my three-year-old dressed. My husband has this image of me that doesn't exist, perhaps never did. He didn't know me the time I ran into the cement pole in front on Big Lots because I was looking down at my shoes to see if they made my feet look big. He didn't see me wave and smile at the swaying drunk guy who was pee'ing on the dumpster outside the Circle K because I didn't want him to think I was rude. The idea of me overwhelming my attacker is about realistic as the idea of me passing a Krispy Kreme without stopping.

It is for these reasons that I consider myself a pacifist, but sometimes the mind does crazy things and I decide that in order to protect myself and my sleeping child, it's time to get the gun. Yes, I said it. We have a gun. Not my idea. My husband brought guns into the marriage. I do not like guns and the idea of giving one to me is like giving a knife to someone with seizures - you don't know what will happen but you can bet it won't be good. But drastic times call for drastic measures and the gun is closer than the knives in the kitchen and I can somehow imagine myself shooting someone from a distance easier than trying to knife him the same way I poke a potato. I am sweating just thinking about the gun which is hidden in the top shelf of a closet in the next room. There are no bullets in it, so the best I can hope for is to throw it at him. But sitting there wide-eyed in my granny nightgown at three am - well, I'm not thinking clearly. I go for the gun. I practice pointing and saying, "Make my day. This is going to hurt me worse than it hurts you. I have a gun and I'm not afraid to use it. Give me all your aces." Okay, so at least I was entertained and momentarily forgot my fear. Until I had to pee.

Everybody knows that there are two moments when the traditional boogey man will strike - when you're in the shower and when you're squatting - both very vulnerable positions. Not as vulnerable though as if it were the middle of your annual exam. That would never happen though because the boogey man would take one look at the stirrups and syringes and run. Or tell him the stick turned pink and that'll get rid of him. I should sleep at the doctor's office when hubby is out of town - kind of like hunkering down in a safe bunker - or whatever the expression is. Anyway, the movies never show you how to handle the whole having to pee situation. But now I really have to go. Surely I can't put the gun down or he'll grab it and turn it on me - or rather throw it at me as the case may be. There is only one choice. I have to pee and stay armed at the same time. I once drove three miles, in the rain, with broken wipers, while applying lipstick and changing a diaper. I can do this. And I do. And with great skill and manual dexterity might I add. I complete my business and never once take my finger off the trigger. Annie Oakley, you got nothing on me.

Now I'm back in the bed, eyes wide, brandishing the gun wildly around the room and realize that my child is sleeping across the hall and what if the boogey man goes there first? Although there are days when I am convinced that if my wild-eyed toddler ever got abducted, they would certainly bring him back, I just don't want to take any chances. And it's usually at this point that I run into his room and grab him and bring his snoring body back to my bed where I am fully prepared to throw myself over him and yell, "Take me! Take me!" But now I've got the sleeping kid and the gun and I don't want him to wake up and see the gun - bullets or not. And what if my husband comes home early for some reason and can't reach me on the phone that is lying on my stomach because the battery has suddenly gone dead and so I don't know he's coming and he sneaks in and I don't hear him and I shoot him by mistake - and I know there are no bullets in there, but good grief, how can you be sure? I'm certainly not going to open it to find out.

I decide that I would rather be shot than accidentally shoot my family and I put the gun under the bed. Nope, not a good idea, because undoubtedly Junior will pull it out covered in dust bunnies the size of a small dog - he finds everything - and he'll start playing with it and put it in his backpack (despite the fact that he still can't work the zipper) take it to school and he'll get expelled from preschool and I'll get arrested and they'll say this is why the world is in the state it's in - and makes sense - she was the mom who sent chocolate bars for snack instead of carrots. And I'll go to jail and end up rooming with a boogey man or boogey lady, as the case may be, and find out that it was her cousin who broke into my house and caught me on the john and still has the mental scars to prove it. Better to put it back on the top shelf of the closet and resort to plan B where I tell the criminal to please hold a minute while I run and grab my unloaded gun.

It is 4:30am and I'm wide awake with one arm on the phone, fingers gripping my new razor in the hopes of nicking him to death, and the other arm on my Bible, having decide my best chance at scaring him off would be to witness to him - he would either run or be saved, either of which would work in my favor - while my son snores loudly beside me. And then somehow - as I'm praying that if this is my night to die, to please make sure that my husband does not find anyone else skinnier, and if there could be chocolate in heaven I would be really happy - by some wonderful miracle, I fall asleep and wake up at that magical hour of 6am where I am no longer afraid because the sun is now coming up and everybody knows that the boogey man gets off work at 6am - just like he gets snow days and Christmas eve off. And I drift back to sleep and all is right with the world and there is peace. I have had my brush with death and lived to write about it. Little do I know that there is another fear just lurking around the corner - when I would mistakenly think that with just a little bit of spandex I could fit my size fourteen body into a size ten pair of jeans. I still have the bruises to show for it.

P.S. Did you know the average burglar only makes 4,000 a year? What if that's based on just one good hit? That's not bad if you average it. I think he's making more than I am.

Layette For a Baby

Among our population, at any case, female part, there is still a popular belief that one should not gather layette for a baby before his birth. Why not, in fact? Nobody can give some clear answer.

And some superstitious pregnant women put off buying necessary things for a little human being during post-natal period, thus, wittingly condemning themselves on additional and quite unnecessary for that time troubles. You know, buying layette takes too much time that could be given to a baby himself.

So, should we delay this moment, so that to be very quick at buying layette later? And deprive yourself of leisurely buying of charming lacy bonnets, tiny loose jackets and crawlers? You should just imagine all these tiny things (the assortment of which is so various today, abound in mischief of colors) in your hands, and certainly you will want to buy them all, in big quantities. However, you should not do this, as a baby will need not much since his first days of life. So, a mother to be will have to try to resist all the temptations and find the golden middle.

So, while choosing clothes for a baby-born, first of all you should take into account its following qualities: comfort, possibility to wash quickly and easily, small weight and easily to dress in. Further, taking into account the fact that baby's skin become easily inflamed because of tough seams or wool, any clothes that adjoins to baby's skin, should be made only of cotton or mixture of cotton with synthetic materials. You should not refuse from knitted fabric also, as it has irrefutable advantages over other fabrics: it can be easily washed and stretches well, that is especially comfortable while dressing your baby.

diapers. New-born babies have one very delicate peculiarity to humidify nappies every 15 minutes, so diapers (a lot of them and for different baby's weight) are just irreplaceable.

Blanket. It is advisable to have 2 light cotton blankets and one warm (wool) one for a case of cold weather. You should buy also a set of blanket covers for each blanket. It is better not to buy quilts: they are too heavy, hard to wash and moreover, dust microbes easily multiply there.

Swaddling bands. Modern pediatricians advise not to use swaddling bands and not to swaddle babies since their very birth. As for their opinion, a baby that moves freely develops better both physically and emotionally. Nevertheless, in spite of their advises, it is better to provide yourself with 2 dozens of swaddling bands: 10 thin and 10 warm, of size 90 x 120 cm. They will be useful for you, even if you do not use them in their purpose. For example, you will be able to wipe your baby after bath with thin ones, in hot weather you will cover him with warm ones instead of blanket, and a flannelette swaddling band will serve as a wonderful pillow for your new-born. And then, you will be able to cover a cot, perambulator and swaddling table with swaddling bands. Moreover, instead of swaddling bands you may use a bag with buttons having tape around collar. A baby will feel much comfortable in it, than in swaddling bands.

Bonnets and caps. Your baby will need not more than 2 thin and 1 warm bonnet, made of knitted fabric (they are practical and comfortable) and a couple of wool caps.

Crawlers. Their amount is determined by the fact whether you will use diapers. If yes, then 2 couples of crawlers will be enough. By the way, it is considered, that during wake since the first days of life baby will feel more comfortable wearing crawlers or light overalls, than in swaddling bands. This also influences positively on his development.

Loose jackets. You also should not buy too much of them, as babies grow fast of them. So, do not go mad on buying them and take just 203 thin ones and 1-2 warm ones. Take into account, that it is easier to put on loose jackets with a fastener of press-buttons or tape. The matter is that tape and press-buttons can be easily fastened, and they are also more sage for a baby, than usual buttons (a baby may accidentally tear buttons off and send them to his mouth immediately).

Socks. Even in the warmest weather new-born babies' feet freeze, so you will have to get a couple of warm wool socks for sure.

Try not to buy clothes with room for growth, even if you want to do this very much. Sometimes it is quite difficult to foresee your baby's size beforehand and hasten it to the necessary season as much as possible.

Hosting a Tea Party on Mother's Day - Here Are Some Mother's Day Tea Party Activities

Are you hosting a tea party for your mom? To honor that very important person in our lives, you want to make her smile and warm her heart. You will no doubt find your own heart swelling with warmth in the process. It may be you and your mom, or it may include generational moms. It's not uncommon to see great grandmother, grandmother, mother and daughter enjoying this celebration together.

I can't think of a better activity than a walk down memory lane. Get out your photo album or a box of photos if you don't have one. Ask the others to bring theirs as well. Some of them may be pretty old and the youngest among you may not know some relatives in the pictures. This is a good time to tell the story of your family history and let the young ones get to know where they came from.

Looking at old pictures always prompts someone to remember when they enjoyed something they did. Let them talk about where they did it and who was with them. It may surprise a great granddaughter to find out that her great grandmother was the first girl to be on an all boy baseball team at her high school.

In my family seeing the hair styles the women were wearing way back when always brings moans and groans. Ditto for the clothing they were wearing as well. Pictures of parties attended, family weddings, picnics, family vacations and trips to amusement parks can start a fit of laughter that won't stop for a while.

One of our favorite family memories is from a family vacation when my nephew opened the condo door and walked over and opened the refrigerator to get a drink when he realized he was in the wrong condo. The people inside just stared at him and they all burst out laughing. TIP: Lock your doors

A tear or two may be shed when you see a photo of one that is no longer with you, but this is yet another opportunity to remember them with laughter and love. You will no doubt start counting all the things you and your family have to be thankful for.

Hosting a tea party means finding tea party food

Tea parties are known for their bite sized foods, like tea sandwiches, small tea cakes, and cookies. Fresh fruit is always welcome and small fruit tarts. Small pieces of fudge or candy will be loved by someone there. Providing both fruit and candy should satisfy both the health conscience and the sweet tooth.

Remember to provide some foods that great grandmother can easily eat by finding out if she has any dietary restrictions she must follow. If she is unable to get out bring the tea party to her.

The tea itself may be a hot English Earl Grey an iced Passion Fruit, or anything in between. If you have a tiny generational person a Rooibos tea is a good caffeine free choice.

Try the tea sandwich spread below:

Almond bacon cheese spread

8 ounces of cream cheese softened
2 Tablespoons toasted almonds

2 slices crispy fried bacon
1 small onion cubed

1/4 tsp Worcestershire sauce.

Add ingredients in a food processor and blend well. Chill well.

Make Mother's Day a special event by hosting a tea party to be remembered.

Infant Halloween Costumes

A desiring Baby Halloween costume is the most amusing parts of parenting. Each and everyone love as well as enjoys while seeing a cute little baby in a gorgeous outfit. Nothing is quite a cute as a baby or toddler dressed up in costume. No matter what sort of costume it is for you to choose for your little ones, we can pledge the cuteness factor will be off the charts. These infant costumes are very contented for wearing and incredible as well and give an adorable look on your child!

Halloween comes only once in a year. It is such a big event for few of them which entail special preparations and so on. There are several issues that parents face but when it comes to buying a costume for their infant or young child, ranging from the type of costume they choose, place of purchase to cost of costume. Here are some important features to look at when seeking the right costume for your infant:

Flame Resistance: It is very essential to clothe them in outfits that do not grasp fire easily and to be exact; it is nothing but the flame-resistant clothing for the protection of both infants and children.

Easy to Wear: Costumes for babies and infants need to be made easy to put on and take off. Here are some innovative aspects to consider when selecting a costume for ease:

 diaper Changing - Infants need diaper changes recurrently. So look out for a costume that presents easy access. A costume that has crotch snaps is the most expedient one for changing diapers.

 Neckline - Normally babies do not like whatever thing that is pulled over their heads, so find out a costume that has zipper or some buttons in the front for ease of putting on as well as taking off.

 Movement - Both babies and older children do not like to wear tight clothing since it contracts them a lot. So always select a costume that consent for easy movement.

Comfort: When buying a costume for your infant an important factor to be considered is that the outfit should be very comfortable. The vital factors that includes in this categories are as follows:

 Sensitivity - Single out a costume whose material is soft and ideally made of cotton as newborns and infants have sensitive skin and make them to feel comfortable.

 Buttons, Zippers - When buying a costume for your baby, note the position of the buttons, snaps, zippers, Velcro and other accessories.

Costume Accessories: A costume comes with numerous accessories. But when it comes to infants, they need special attention. These accessories include headwear, hand accessories and foot wear.

Trailing Costumes: When buying a costume for your infant, it is best to look for a costume that does not have any trailing accessories, particularly since a small baby can enfold this around herself as well as the child will get a suffocating problem.

Masks: Do not wear a mask to your infant as she is too small for it. Ideally it is well advisable to have your infant or toddler's face painted instead wearing a mask.

Costume Places: There are many places to find a costume for your infant. But it all depends on what you are looking for. Some of the places to visit are department stores, party Store, costume store or rental shop, baby shop, toy store, specialty store, garage sales & gently used clothing stores, thrift store, wholesale or warehouse stores and Disney stores.

Go Wild in Western Costumes With These Costume Ideas

Have you been invited to a costume party with a western theme but have nothing to wear? Don't fret just yet! There are a lot of western costumes you can choose from. Some of the most popular costumes include the cowboy or cowgirl costume, the Indian costume, the sheriff costume and the saloon girl costume.

Cowboy Costume or Cowgirl Costume
The cowboy costume or cowgirl costume is the classic outfit for any party with a western theme. For men, wear matching western-style shirts and pants to make you look like a cowboy. For women, you can wear a western-style blouse with a matching skirt. For a more updated cowboy or cowgirl look, you can just wear a checkered polo top and a pair of denim jeans. You may also want to thrown in a cowboy vest with tassels. Finish the outfit with standard cowboy boots.

When wearing a cowboy costume or cowgirl costume, never forget the accessories. Appear more realistic by wearing a cowboy hat. Aside from that, you also need a leather belt with a solid, silver buckle. For a more fancy look, women can opt for leather belts with rhinestone buckles instead. Also, get a red tea towel and turn it into a neckerchief. You can also carry a lasso for that authentic Western look.

Indian Costume
Indian costumes are also very popular in western theme parties. For men, a sleeveless leather top in brown with matching leather pants can be worn. For women, think Pocahontas - wear a sleeveless leather blouse and matching short skirt. For both men and women, wear some native slippers to complete your costume. Also put on a band around your head, where you can attach one feather to it. Accessorize with beaded necklaces, bracelets, arm bands and moccasins. You can also use face paint or make-up to draw some lines on your face, and body paint or henna to create some tattoos that look genuine.

Sheriff Costume
Another popular western costume is the sheriff costume. The sheriff costume is actually quite similar to the cowboy costume. Wear a western-style shirt, fringed leather pants and a cowboy hat. A more contemporary approach is to wear a leather jacket, in black or brown, and a pair of denim jeans. The most important thing about the sheriff costume is the badge, which is attached to the sheriff's jacket. You can buy a badge at the local costume shop or even a toy store. Using some foil, you can even make your own sheriff's badge. Don't forget to put on a holster where you can place a fake handgun in, to show everyone who's in charge.

Saloon Girl Costume
For a sexier look, you can choose to wear a saloon girl costume. Wear a long-sleeved checkered top, but make it more revealing by opening some of the top buttons. Match this with either a pair of fitted denims or a mini-skirt. Finish it off with a pair of sexy pointed cowboy boots. To make it look more realistic, you can even carry pitchers or mugs of beer around!

A western-themed party is perfect for both men and women, no matter how young or old you are. This is why western costume parties are still one of the most popular kinds of costume parties for all ages. Go crazy in the Wild, Wild West with these great western costume ideas!

Adult Diapers and Plastic Pants

Adult diapers are used by many individuals who suffer form incontinence and other aliments, which require them to urinate frequently. However, sometimes as adults if it becomes obvious that a person is wearing a diaper, it can be embarrassing and quite awkward for the person to move around in public areas. Therefore, a recent development that has gained quick response and momentum is the concept of plastic pants. They are being used a lot by diaper users these days.

Plastic pants are available these days in almost all of the places where diapers are available and they come in different styles, colors, patterns and types. The basic function of the pant is to hold the diaper firmly in place so that there is no scope for displacement and also, so that it isn't noticeable. A lot of diaper users have testified to the fact that diapers often shift and this result in stains on the person's clothing especially the pants. Removing these stains can be wearisome tasks and this is where plastic pants come into the picture. Plastic pants can be washed and reused as many times as required. They show no signs of blemishes and they do not retain any odor. They also look trendy and camouflage the fact that the person is wearing a diaper inside.

Plastic pants are available in different styles for men and women. They are available in different waist sizes to suit the needs of the customer. They also come in a range of styles like short pants, bell-bottoms, loose pants, slacks, casual wear, formal wear, etc. Many users have testified that these plastic pants are extremely comfortable and savvy.

Colic Remedies - 10 Easy Solutions

Colic is defined by its symptoms as opposed to a certain cause. Symptoms usually begin around 4 weeks of age and can last as long as 6 months or in rare cases longer. It is believed to affect 1 in 3 babies. Colic sometimes looks like there is abdominal pain and is frequently accompanied by gas. However, the gas is said to be a bi-product of swallowing air when crying. A baby is described as having colic if he or she has episodes of uncontrollable, inconsolable crying over three hours a day and at least three days a week. Colic and infant gas can be very frustrating and upsetting to both parents and baby.

Fortunately, you are not alone and there are ways to soothe your baby and possibly eliminate the symptoms.

Below you will find 10 easy solutions for infant colic and gas. Enjoy!

1. Food Allergies: Get familiar with high allergen foods such as Milk, Soy, Corn, Wheat, Nuts, etc. Most commercial baby foods contain at least one of these high allergen ingredients. Talk with your care provider if you suspect this to be an issue.

2. Infant Massage: Babies love to be massaged! It can also get gas moving out of the belly. It's relaxing and a great way to bond with your baby. If your unsure as to how to perform infant massage browse the Internet or book store. These days there is a lot of information on this topic.

3. White Noise: This is a favorite for many moms and can be very soothing to a fussy baby. Perhaps it reminds the of being in the womb with all the muffled noises. Pick up a white noise CD, place your baby near the dryer while its on or put her in a sling while you vacuum.

4. Nature: Sometimes separating your baby from her environment can help stop the crying. Your baby could very well be reacting to the energy that surrounds her and being outside in nature can be very grounding for both parents and baby. Sit with your baby in the grass or near a tree and smell some flowers together, you will be surprised how much this may help.

5. Wear Your Baby: A randomized controlled study reported in Pediatrics showed that baby wearing reduces crying and fussiness 43 percent overall and 51 percent at night. Baby wearing decreases the levels of stress hormones circulating in a baby's blood stream, resulting in a more relaxed, happy baby.

6. Light Pressure On Tummy: Placing your baby on her tummy throughout the day and pushing your baby's legs up against her belly can help to relieve gas.

7. Take A Look At You! We are beings of energy and our children are very in tune with the energy that surrounds them. Have you been stressed out or worried? Be sure to recognize and express your feelings and emotions. Remember to take some time out each day to let go of any negative thoughts or feelings before you get bottled up.

8. Warmth: Submerging your baby in a warm bath is extremely soothing, not only to the physical body but also the emotional body as well. Try this the next time your baby is getting fussy and see how it works for you.

9. Movement: For the first 9 months of life all babies know is movement and so this is very comforting for them when they are no longer living in the safe, comforting home they once knew. Take your baby for a drive in the car, a walk in the stroller, or little ride in a baby carrier.

10. Swaddling: Swaddle your baby up nice and tight they love it! Most younger babies like to be swaddled in a blanket with their arms tucked in while older babies sometimes prefer to have their arms out. There are lots of blankets out there that make it nice and easy to swaddle your baby quickly and with little effort.

Get creative, try different things and find what soothes your baby best! Getting support from family and other mothers is also very important. Be sure to check in with your care provider to make sure there is not a medical issue going on or an allergy. The best of luck to you and your family!

Don't Let Your Baby Be Seen in Anything Else - Moby Wrap

My first experience of a Moby Wrap Baby Carrier was when my sister-in-laws boyfriend turned up wearing one with his newborn toddler safely cradled into his breastbone. At first it was a little funny to see a 40 year old Goth (obviously dressed in black) with a multi-colored wrap breaking up his dress code. It was the first time that I experienced a baby wrap and initially wondered how they could be safe and if it would asphyxiate the baby.

Needless to say that my prejudice was ill based as the nipper did indeed get through the ordeal of oxygen starvation and zero gravity. Baby Luke continues to thrive and the Moby Wrap Baby Carrier has become an essential piece of babyware in his early months. The popularity of these baby wraps is now evident as since I became aware of them, I notice these wraps everywhere. Initially I could not understand how the baby wraps were fitted but after scrutinising my teacher mummify himself quite expertly, it became apparent that if he could do it, so could anyone including me.

The wraps are made of top quality cotton and the fabric is well configured in allowing a balance of stretch and breathability. The overall width of the fabric allows for a comfortable cradle and is of adequate dimensions so that you can actually get a couple of babies in there for the price of one. As a result of the Moby Wrap Baby Carrier fitting so close to the chest, the centre of gravity is more centralised and gives greater comfort. This is in particular of benefit to mums who may be suffering after a caesarean or if the parent has a pre-existing spinal condition.

As the Moby baby wrap is of a standard size, it can just as easily fit both men and women simply by altering the fit on assembly. This is a travel essential as the baby wraps are very light and are easily packed away when not in use. When fitted they allow a hands-free environment, meaning you are able to get your checks and credit cards out with ease. Also, there are no mechanical catches with the Moby Wrap so there is much less to 'fail' at the most inopportune time.

The baby wrap is believed safe for babies up to just about 35 pounds though you should consult the paperwork supplied with the baby carrier before using this excellent piece of equipment. The baby wraps are available in a selection of colors as well as some 'designer' styles enabling you to stand out from the gang. Also available is a 'warm' wrap for those who have had toddlers in the winter months or if you live near the Arctic Circle. This line comes with a silk inlay and with a woven fleece fabric. As well as giving additional heat for you baby, it also provides additional comfort for the parent who has drawn the short straw.

The Moby Wrap Baby Carriers can be washed in a machine( go to 30 degrees, save energy and money) and, as they do not have any additional parts or seams, there is little or nothing to go wrong except wear and tear. But honestly, how do you wear one of these wraps out? Overuse? That means you are using it regularly. As discussed earlier in this review, the Moby Baby Wraps are available in a variety of colors and there is generally at least one limited edition available for the discerning parent. I wonder if they can also be used as a hammock? Maybe not.

Compare a variety of Moby Wrap Baby Carriers on our Moby review page and choose from the fashionable range on offer.

Intellectual Midgets and Pee Wee Herman the Congressman - They Are Laughing at You

The economy is in shambles. Unemployment is at an all-time high. Foreclosure has become an epidemic and we are looking to the same screw-up's who put us in this mess to get us out.

Seriously, and I say this with all due respect the handicapped and economically disadvantaged, we would have a better chance of grabbing a random homeless, blind, deaf, mute, quadriplegic out of a refrigerator box shanty in a west Philly alleyway and betting one million dollars that we could train him to win the Ironman in a week, than we ever will depending on succubus congressmen and senators to get us out of this mess of which they are responsible.

Congress will blame this meltdown on aliens and the chupacabra before they admit any wrong doing.

Turn on the news and you'll see an orgy of sweaty brow, finger-wagging and jaw-flapping politicians blaming a straw man CEO of an investment banking firm for ten years of his firm's economic gluttony and purging (though he's only been in this executive position for 90 days). It's a set up. Wake up. It's all just a distraction.

Bring in a clean cut yet power hungry executive, put him through rapid promotion from VP to CEO, tell him he's going to a press conference then blindfold him, lead him to a 3x3 ft closet, toss in a dozen stink bombs, 10 day old soiled adult diapers, bottle rockets and fire crackers, turn out the lights, take off the blindfold, throw in a rabid squirrel, slam the door shut and 5 days later let him out to and ask him to run the Boston Marathon wearing an eye patch, Speedo and flip-flops while waving pompoms. Let's get real. We need solutions, not a congressional Kid n' Play dance competition. It's a joke and we are the ones being laughed at; you, me and our children.

I have an idea! For the next presidential election we can have Pee Wee Herman run under the democratic ticket, the hunchback of notre dame can run under the republican ticket and we can have Chubaka run the CNN televised debate and we can have the post debate commentaries by Lady Gaga and the Teletubbies and why not? Americans would complain for 2 days and then buy the latest Asterix Comic for voting advice on the next election.

Why Ugg Boots Are the Male Celebrities Must Have Accessory

Originally made for sheep herders, Australian Ugg boots have become the must have footwear for male celebrities all over. Wondering why? This article will tell you!

If you've been paying any attention to celebrity fashion lately, you've probably noticed a proliferation of Ugg boots. Their name comes from "ugly", since these sheepskin boots were originally made for practical reasons, not for style. And it's true - many people don't understand the appeal of this clunky, furry footwear. However, that's not stopping many celebrities and others who've decided they want to buy Australian Uggs.

Ugg boots have a special charm to them, besides being super comfortable and warm, in even the worst weather. They have a long history, too. Originally made for sheep herders in Australia and others in places with a lot of rough weather, these boots keep your feet warm and dry, but still allow them to breathe. Combined with their newfound status as a must have for the fashionable set, these traits have seen a lot more people (celebrities included) to choose Uggs.

Celebrity endorsement has made Ugg boots more popular

They've been popular with female stars for longer, with stars from Sarah Jessica Parker to Kate Moss wearing their trendy Uggs in all weathers as featured regularly in tabloid magazines. Even Oprah listed Ugg Boots on her list of favourite things, so that is endorsement indeed.

Ugg boots are for men too

Recently, the men have started wearing Uggs too. Men's Uggs have been seen on stars from Ronnie Wood, guitarist with the Rolling Stones, to Leonardo DiCaprio and Justin Timberlake. These Australian Ugg boots have definitely come a long way from their humble origins. From sheep shearers to WWII aviators to 1970s surfers to modern stars, they've been worn by plenty of people. The most popular men's Uggs that have been worn by the male celebrities include the Ugg Classic Tall and the Ugg Classic Short boots, although they do have many more styles.

Whether you love or hate Ugg Boots, they're definitely hear to stay, with Ugg stores opening in malls all over. You can check out a pair of these great men's Ugg boots in person to find out whether they really live up to all the hype. Or, if you're sure you know what you want, take a look at some of the many online stores that offer them - sometimes at a significant discount over competitors.

Make sure you buy authentic ugg boots

Just be sure you're looking for genuine Uggs. After all, these furry boots should have the quality and durability that's made them popular for decades. They might cost a little more than the knockoffs, but they're definitely worth it! If you're looking for something a little different in your wardrobe, and quality and practicality are important, check out Ugg boots. You'll be in some truly fashionable and famous company, and you'll be getting amazing boots.

Redefine Your Look With Sexy Maternity Shirts and Maternity Clothes

Looking for some chic maternity shirts? Yes! So, you are one of those women who believe in flaunting their inflated bellies and turning their pregnancy term into a party! You don't wanna hide behind those over-sized, baggy clothes. And why should you? It's time to tell the world about your "accomplishment".

Fashionably Pregnant!

Who says pregnant ladies cannot be sexy? Just take a look at the huge range of maternity clothes; and you'll shout "wow!" There are fitted jeans to team up with cute tops. There are stretched denims featuring side panels that you can adjust with buckles. For a growing belly, low waist jeans are the best. These fit below your stomach and are very comfortable.

How about getting into a pair of cropped jeans with embellishments? It's the best attire for malls and other such shopping spots. If you find jeans a bit uncomfortable, go for Gaucho pants. Ah! And how can you overlook the skirt! Get some sexy maternity shirts and team them up with flowing skirt. Complete your look with boots. You're dressed to kill!

T-Shirts To Woo Your Hubby Again!

There's a vast collection of stretchable and soft cotton shirts especially designed for large bellies. Most of these T-shirts contain high quality fabric with 1-2 percent spadex, which expands with your growing belly. Thus, you can wear such t-shirts even till the last month of pregnancy.

Do you know you look more curvy and sexy right now? Just look at the mirror! Don't hide your curves; flaunt them by wearing cool t-shirts with V-necks or other designs that you're comfy in. T-shirts with messages are the hottest trend. T-shirts with a straight arrow or big letters or drawings are passe.

Don a shirt saying "Babies on Board", or "This Belly Rocks", or "I can do it!" How about shirts saying "Coming This Winter"? Wanna be naughty? You could try maternity shirts with messages like "I drank the water!" or "Birth control for Sissies." Watch your hubby fall madly in love with you all over again!

Flaunt Your Belly!

There are more maternity clothes available in the market. You can get casual, formal, and semiformal wears, including the evening gown. Choose clothes according to comfort. There's such an enormous collection that you're definitely gonna get your choice. The catch is to dress in style and comfort. Don't stop being fashionable just because you're pregnant. Besides, now you've no excuse to hide behind loose clothing, as a large number of stores have a separate section for maternity clothing.

Big bellies are in. Oh! Didn't you know that? Well, it's time for a wardrobe change, if you still haven't invested in some stylish pregnancy clothes. You're passing through one of the best phases of life. You deserve to be pampered. And what better way to do this than shopping for chic clothes and shoes? Get a spa treatment, wear sexy maternity shirts or a classy evening gown, and walk the red carpet.

A Charm for Baby

Be careful what you wish for. Entering the baby's room one day, I noticed a subtle odor, not unlike a used diaper or a moose with a gas problem. A thorough search revealed everything in order and clean, so it must have come from the baby. "Marielle," I thought, "You stinky devil."

Opening the window helped, but I felt I had to ask my sister-in-law, Doris, who often had given me good advice on sticky problems. A fifteen minute conversation with Doris revealed that she knew an old woman of German decent who owned a charm against my baby's kind of problem but which could backfire if used improperly.

A few days later a small package in my mailbox revealed a brown root-like spiral of wood wrapped in a piece of waxed paper with the words, 'Schauzz Wurzel'. Not knowing how powerful this piece of magic could be, instead of placing it near the baby, I leaned the charm against the house just outside the front door.

No sooner than my youngest child, Robbie, came home from kindergarten, he greeted me with a big hug and a strange noise that sounded like "BREEeeeeeeee". The accompanying odor prompted me to ask how he felt. He insisted that nothing was wrong. Anyway, we were interrupted by the arrival of my older son who casually waved a hello and somewhere behind him let out a musical "Brrrrrrrrrrrrr-rrrrp!"

Fearing the worst, I raced back to the baby's room just in time to hear "breeeeep -beep-beep!". The open window hadn't helped the atmosphere any so I frantically called my husband, Frank, for advice. Frank didn't know what to make of our problem, but promised to be home soon. I reminded him not to be late, since the pastor was coming over for a short visit and a donation.

At six on the dot, Frank rushed in to his wife and sounded, "BRRRRRUUUM!" accompianied by a miasmic cloud. "Oh, excuse me, how are the kids?" Not looking at him, I told him fine, rroooorrrrrrp, and hurry up and get ready for the pastor's visit. Just then the bell rang, and standing on the front step was the pastor. Frank said, "I hope you don't mind, but now is not a good time to visit. Could you make it another day?"

The pastor answered, "That's fine, if you could let me come in for a moment - I just wanted to leave something as a memento for the good work your wife has been
doing for the church, BROOOOOUUUUUUMMMMM-BUP-BUP-BUP!"

Breastfeeding Blankets - Answer To All Your Breastfeeding Problems

As a brand new mother, you need to be alert and ready since your baby may cry to be fed at anytime during the course of the day or night. Breastfeeding blankets add an element of ease and comfort to the whole experience. Breastfeeding blankets are crafted to be handy and comfy. They enable the baby to access the breasts promptly, easily and subtly. Some breastfeeding blankets are fashioned to be flung over the shoulder while others offer cushy comfort to mother and baby, but one thing is for sure - breastfeeding blankets can cause the initial period of motherhood to be far more easy.

Amongst the most essential items of breastfeeding supplies, which a nursing mom needs, are excellent breastfeeding blankets. It is most certainly an indispensable item of breastfeeding supplies. Usually a nursing mother needs a number of breastfeeding blankets. In the course of feeding, babies frequently burp up or spit up milk.

Breastfeeding blankets that are highly absorbent, swiftly and simply soak up the mess. Every blanket is fashioned out of smooth and comfy cotton, which is extremely soothing to the baby's delicate skin and gives the mother a fast clean up to breastfeeding.

Breastfeeding blankets are not difficult to wash or make use of and nursing moms can simply put in a couple of them in the diaper pouch for any impulsive feedings or feedings that are needed when outdoors.

Further, moms who prefer a little discretion while feeding can make use of breastfeeding blankets to screen their breasts even while making available to their newborns the required food and comfort. Apart from breastfeeding blankets, the nursing moms can select an assortment of additional breastfeeding articles that can availed of for breastfeeding.

Quite a number of breastfeeding nightdresses, breastfeeding brassieres, and breastfeeding shirts are on sale in stores these days. Amongst these, an all time favorite is undoubtedly the breastfeeding brassiere. There is an extensive range and styles of nursing, breastfeeding or maternity brassieres.

In the case of most women, it is quite essential to put on a breastfeeding brassiere, since the brassiere can prevent the tissues from stretching, which if not checked, can lead to sagging breasts. Those women who have bigger breasts generally feel more at ease wearing one.

Most women choose to have a breastfeeding brassiere made to their specifications. The breasts start to get ready for lactation in the initial stages of pregnancy and quite a few women tend to grow too big for their normal brassiere size much before others. Generally, most changes to breasts take place by about 4 months of gestation, which is the best time for a brassiere fitting.

A properly fitted breastfeeding brassiere makes a mother feel at ease and comfortable and gives proper support to the breasts. Hence, it would be great if a woman gets a professional fitting, more so as the service is complimentary.

It is important for every nursing mom to go in for excellent breastfeeding accessories that include breastfeeding blankets, which tends to make nursing quite comfortable and easy for mothers and their newborn.

Cheap Bathing Suits For Teens

Getting hold of a cheap bathing suit does not need to be difficult. However, if you have looked around online you will know that there are literally thousands of choices. Some of these choices are replicated over and over again in different website. This is because Webmasters are trying to make a commission off visitors when they buy stock through their website. This explains the replication of bathing suits online.

However, if you need a swimsuit that is unique then look for forums where people have made suggestions to others. Usually you may find appropriate swimsuit shops using this technique. There are plenty of professional websites that can provide you with cheap bathing suits. You should make yourself comfortable that you are dealing with a reputable website.

Check to see if there is a street address and phone number of the company so if you have any problems you can contact them easily. Then, also check out their prices and compare with other sites to give you peace of mind that you are not getting ripped off. The last thing you want is to send money to a place you have no idea is trustworthy. Deal with Paypal if you can.

Buying the right swimsuit can be difficult depending on your body shape. It is important that there is a return policy in place so that if you need to return the item you can do so easily and without fuss. If you need a cheap bathing suit then certainly getting one online is the ideal way to compare prices and style and all from the comfort of your own home.

Heavy Absorbency Diapers

There is an assortment of diapers available in the market to suit the needs of those who use them. Often, adult diapers are used by people who have ailments like incontinence or working pregnant women who need to urinate frequently or handicapped or invalid patients. No matter what the case is, it is always advised by doctors, pharmacists and preferable by the users to use diapers that have heavy absorbency.

Diapers with heavy absorbency are highly favored because they do not need to be changed frequently each time that they have been soiled. They can be worn for a longer period of time and save the user the inconveniences and troubles of frequent changes. Most heavy absorbent diapers come in good quality material to avoid rashes that are caused due to long hours. Many manufacturers provide diapers with changeable pads in case the diapers become heavy after being soiled many times. The entire diaper need not be changed; the person can change only the pads after they have been soiled many times. Heavy absorbent diapers are also used by those who suffer form bedwetting issues and require wearing a diaper throughout the night. In these cases, along with the heavy absorbency, diapers are designed to provide comfort and relief to the wearer.

Another basic advantage is the cost, although a single heavy absorbency diaper may cost slightly more, but it can be used for a longer period of time thereby reducing the total monthly diaper expenditure.

Diapers, which have the capacity to absorb a lot, are often coated with a special absorbent material that keeps the diaper dry each time it is soiled. These diapers are usually of the disposable types as they get too heavy and dirty to wash and reuse, although, some brands do market reusable heavy absorbent diapers. They are mostly preferred by those adults who are unable to constantly change their soiled diapers.

Changing Adult Diapers

Those who use adult diapers are usually individuals who battle with issues like bedwetting, incontinence, urinary problems, pregnant women who need to urinate often etc. Depending on the reason that a person uses a diaper, one must change it at different intervals. But long and frequent wearing of a wet diaper leads to skin rashes also known as diaper sores.

When a person is at home and is suffering form any illness, their diapers are usually changed by those who take care of them. For some handicapped and invalid people it is decided that diapers must be changed at fixed times by the caretaker like after naps, after meals, etc. others feel that diapers must be changed, not at specific timings, but simply whenever it is required to. This again, depends solely on the comfort and schedule of the user. A lot of people suffer from diaper rashes, which are sores that develop on their sensitive areas, which are in constant contact with the diaper. It is advisable for such people that they change diapers as soon as the diapers are soiled. In case of those using diapers because of bedwetting, they can change the diaper just before going to bed and then as soon as they get up in the morning. In case a person is caught in a situation where he/ she cannot change diapers as often, it is wise to use diapers that are more absorbent.

To avoid any kind of inconvenience caused by skin rashes and irritation caused by the odor of soiled diapers, many people opt to use baby oil on their buttocks and sensitive areas. They may also use some special cream, salve or balm to get relief from the irritation while they are changing their diapers. After changing diapers, they must be disposed carefully with the garbage if they are disposable.